Inside every dementia, there is a person.
I will always remember the look of sadness on your face when you may have wished to say something, or to move or even to smile, but you could not. Dementia stood in your way, over and over again. It took away your speech, your movement and your ability to communicate.
Yet, inside your head, your mind, thoughts were still there. Had you lost the ability to process them, to get them across? Could you still feel happy or sad? Yes, I think you could.
Could you imagine and dream? I do not know. Was your mind a blank slate or was it full of images, emotions and words?
You were locked in this place and there was no key to reopen the door. Was that it? Could nothing be done?
There was hope. Yes, I could communicate with you through your eyes. Your eyes were the window into your heart, into your soul.
I would sit in front of you and look straight into your eyes. You would look back at me, straight into my eyes. A smile would appear. That was so special, so touching. I do not remember how long our eyes would interact but it remained our way of communication till the day you left.
Those beautiful light blue eyes had so much expression, but, what of thoughts? I am sure there were thoughts. Maybe you could not understand them or process them? We will never know.
Yet, those eyes said a great deal to me. They told me that you knew me, whoever I was to you, but you knew me. I saw love in those eyes and that was all I needed.
You know, whoever I was to you just did not matter anymore. I knew who you were and I knew you loved me, gave your life for me. I just hope that my love for you was translated in the way my eyes looked at you. I hope you could understand my emotions and maybe felt loved too.
You may have been lost in yourself, but those eyes, that glance, they are still here in my mind, in my heart and in my soul and they will never be forgotten.