There are times in one’s life when a hug can solve sadness and a feeling of loneliness in one’s heart. My husband laughs at me when I tell him I need a hug and he complies. He he..out of duty maybe but also because he knows that it is what I really need at that moment. It lasts a few seconds and then all is okay. So simple? Well, it’s the hug that counts:)
What happens when there is no one near you who can oblige? What if there is no one in your space who is there to look into your eyes and see your pain, your hurt and your tears?
Oh Mum, how many times you found yourself all alone in your room. The room in the Care Home. You couldn’t speak and you couldn’t really move much so no one would have known you needed something during rest time, unless they passed by your room. Yet, there was one thing …yes, there was Mr. Polar Bear.
On one of my Christmas shopping sprees some years ago, I was given this bear at BHS – it was part of an advertising drive that if you spent a certain amount, you would be given this lovely large soft toy.
Now, I love soft toys, but this one was different. He was large and cuddly, and had this beautiful red coat and hat. It was his christmas outfit. I decided to give him to you, mum, so he would replace us when you needed a hug. He was a big bear and somehow always put a smile on your face when you looked at him.
It is not that we treated you like a child, not at all, but in our absence, you had a big cuddly bear to hold and snuggle with. We always tell people not to treat their loved ones with dementia as though they were children because they definitely are not. However, we all have a soft side to us and we all need consolation, solace and love. We express ourselves in many different ways, even though some people lock all their feelings and thoughts deep inside, woe betide anyone gets a blink of them. Yet, consolation, solace and love is something we all wish for, look for and hope to receive.
What happened to Mr. Polar Bear? Well, he now sits on my sofa for my grandchildren to hug and play with. Of course, I do sneak a hug in too sometimes:).
Christmas is around the corner. In fact, today month is Christmas Eve. Let us focus more on giving than receiving, on what we can do for someone and not what we expect others to do for us. Sometimes, giving does not have to cost you any money. I have a solution to that….give your loved one a hug…a big, long hug…and tell them you love them.