When someone calls me and sobs his or her heart out over the phone, I wish I could hug and hold that person. When a person reaches breaking point, they have to reach out to someone and you hope that they do. You cannot bottle everything inside because you will collapse under the stress. This is why we are there..this is why we named our Support Group ‘Reaching Hands’.
And reach out we did. How many times you slid off the sofa, mum. I would run into the street looking for a male neighbour or two to help us lift you back up. You were a total dead weight on the floor and there was no way that Dad or I could handle you alone. You didn’t seem to hurt yourself though. It was strange how you would just slowly slip off. Then you would look up at us questioningly. You could not understand why you were suddenly on the floor and we could not understand why this, and so many other incidents, occurred. Dad and I would glance at each other puzzled and unsure. What was next? Would it be worse? Could we manage?
Questions, questions, and more questions. Desperation? I do not remember feeling so at this point. However, the sorrow in your eyes spoke a thousand words. By then, your episodes of falling into a trance and then coming out of it, were now gone. The dementia moved you into another stage, one of helplessness. But what did you really feel? What were you thinking? That was my anguish..the yearn to know your thoughts, your fears, your desperation.
Hearing a person begging for help really humbles me. I try so hard to comfort them and I try so hard to calm them down. Reality is painful, tough and unforgiving. And when you feel this way, you must, and must reach out! Loneliness is unrelentless and cruel. You may be in a house full of people, yet you feel so isolated and empty inside. Somehow, you cannot take anymore, you cannot face the next moment, the next step. This is when you must reach out. Call us. Do not even think about it..just call us.