Total Abandonment

The 4 walls of your home are stark white, cold and heartless. The walls of your heart are in sync. The phone never rings, and no one comes through the door. There is no ‘hello’ or familiar face. There is no one, nothing and you are all alone.

Loneliness eats every morsel of your brain and devours away any hope of happiness, let alone the feeling of that. When you venture outside, people look away as you walk by, not giving you the slightest thought. Even there, despite the crowds, you are all alone.

You walk into a café and a menu is lying there. When you call for the waiter, he takes your order, but here too, there is no smile or any sign of warmth. What happened to compassion, gentleness, sincerity, and most of all, love.

A person with dementia becomes isolated from the world. Sometimes, most times, the family rally round. The result is beautiful.

However, other times, that person is discarded, dumped, neglected, rejected, sidelined. That person might as well be eliminated. Just as one craves for happiness, that person will crave only for death. Only death can end the misery and loneliness. The sheer longing for that will dissipate in the confusion of thought, for there is no connection to the heart anymore, is there?

‘My children have abandoned me’…’no one cares’ …’their spouses make it a point to alienate my children from me’ …’we are too much work, and we are old now..might as well not exist’.

Yes, I hear these phrases over the phone from people who feel so abandoned that it breaks their heart, and it breaks mine. Why are we so cruel? Why are we so unkind, so rigid, so selfish?

One day, you too may be in this situation, and you would deserve the same treatment you gave to your parents. I would tell you ‘Serves you right’ if I could, but that is not appropriate, is it?

Empathy is a word we must study, a personality trait we should yearn for. Warmth is what we should radiate and kindness what we should adopt. Think again before you turn your face away. Think again before those harsh thoughts turn into words. It may be you next time not the other person. It may be you.

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