A little jingle floats through my ears as the street decorations sway in the wind. The twinkle of the lights glistens against the darkness of the night. There is a certain silence, eerie perhaps, but strangely comforting. Further down the street, shop lights are still on, dazzling and dancing out of their sockets. Packed windows display their wares in the most attractive way so passersby cannot resist the temptation to spend all they have. Is this Christmas?

 

Jesus rests in his mother’s womb as her term soon comes to an end and he will be born. Yet the poverty in the stable where Mary rests is a harsh contrast to what the world has turned Christmas into.

 

We shower our families with endless presents, costly, lavish, excessive, extravagant and sometimes even wasteful. We cannot help ourselves. (I’m guilty too). Christmas makes us want to give and give we do, perhaps more than we can afford. Yet, what is this word ‘give’? Jesus came into the world as a gift, he was given to us. Maybe that sentiment still lives in our souls and the feeling of giving is not twisted, but it is sincere.

 

Christmas is beautiful to many, sad to some, and over-stimulating to others. People living with dementia fall into the last category. The bright lights, loud noises, crowds, shuffling of feet, total chaos, frenzied movements, wow! A person with dementia feels overwhelmingly threatened and may go deeper into the loneliness and confusion of their situation.

 

Somone asks me what to gift them for Christmas? They are ready to open their wallets because they feel for their loved one but don’t know what to give.

 

My advice to them and to you is to put your money away and take the time to spend with them. This is the best Christmas present they yearn to receive. I learnt this the first Christmas mum spent in the Care Home.

 

We decided to bring you to my home on Christmas Eve. It was your birthday, and we thought my flat would be better than your actual home. Dad was with us, and we had a lovely Christmas lunch together, chatting away while you looked on in silence.

 

After lunch, we moved to the sitting room and you sat on the sofa. Dad brought you his present and then we did. A tear rolled down your face. A face that showed many emotions, some sad, maybe some happy ones. We did not know. Yet that tear replaced the words you would have loved to say but you had lost the ability to. We were unsure, hoping that we had brought some happiness to you on this important day, this special time.

 

Our answer came a few hours later. We took you back to the Care Home and left for the night. You didn’t sleep and spent the rest of the week banging on the door begging to be let out and come home.

 

That was the last time we took you home. The question remained of how we could help you. The answer was there. Spending time with you in the Care Home was all we could do. It left us empty and helpless in that we wanted to do so much more. Yet, for you, mum, it was a win. You just wanted us to be there, you just needed us to be there. Was our time more precious than all the money in our pockets? I will always say it was, especially for Dad who spent the rest of his days by your side.

 

Yet, for you who are reading this I ask…how precious is your time? Think about it in the silence of your heart. Close your wallet and put it away in your pocket, in your bag. Switch your mobile phone off. Shut down your thoughts from the outside world. Now is the most precious time in the world – this is the greatest gift you can give – yourself, your presence of mind and the kindness and love that emits from your heart to your loved one. It is that simple. Nothing else matters.

I wish you all a peaceful time in Christmas and pray that you open your heart to Jesus to rest there. Christmas is the time he came into the world – do not turn your face the other way. Give from your soul the way he gives himself to yours.