Floating in the Air

This is surreal. I am floating somewhere in the air. I do not know where I am. I do not know what is happening. Yet, it is so beautiful here. There is silence, there is peace. The air is moving me gently through a stream high above, but I do not hear a sound. I feel so light, so calm, so free. I am detached from all that is below, far from the chaos, the noise, the voices, the screaming, screeching of tyres, fears, anger, tears, hatred…I am free.

I often wonder if that is how you felt in your dementia, if your life was a world so different to this one. Was it? How? Please explain. If it was, then I too want to be part of it. I too want to float in the air, away from this world. Take me with you and let me be part of this heaven on earth. Take me far from here so I can be with you.

We fear dementia so much. I fear dementia so much. Dementia took away the lives of my grandfather, his daughter, and my dearest mother. It gnawed at their memory, their consciousness, their recollection, their remembrance, and everything to do with the past, their whole life before today. Dementia consumed their brain and devoured their entire self without mercy. This is how our world sees it.

Was it so harsh? How did mum see it? Tell me mum?

I believe it hushed the commotion, the turbulence, the pandemonium, the turmoil and the madhouse we call our world. I believe it took you away to an orb we know nothing about. A place which is muted, muffled and quiet, a place where there is no tomorrow, where there is no yesterday, where you can hear a pin drop, a place with no expression, no communication, noiseless, a place to nowhere…no, a place to somewhere.

Explain it to me mum. I want to know more. I want to understand and see through that stare, that expressionless gaze. I want to know where you go. I want to feel and comprehend. Take me with you to this sanctuary, to this abode. Is it a hole in the darkness or is it a window to light?

Take me where you are going so, I too may see, and I may accompany you through this passage and direction you are headed for.

Let me understand so that I may quiet the fears of so many, of my own self. Let me realize that it is just a transition to the eternal life we call heaven. Let me believe that the end of life is but the beginning and what awaits us is incredible happiness, where there is no hunger, no ire, no hurt, no pain, no greed, no despair, no unease, no distress. Yes, take me there so I may see for myself.

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